I am inspired,determined, insane, wistful,quixotic, calming, crazed and soulful. My mood often changes but I am always me. I can care to much or not at all, and I always say God bless you when I hear a sneeze. Spring is beautiful but I love the fall. Fashion is my drug and writing is my passion. Books are my escape and my bed is home. I'm a sucker for cupcakes, and go weak at the knees at the sight of a starbucks. A Venti Sugar Free Vanilla Soy Latte is my signiture drink but I do try new things. Coco Chanel is divine, while Marc Jacobs Daisy is for work but make no mistake that Cocoa Mademoiselle is me. My makeup is simple but my eyes are exotic. I FIEND Marlboro Lights but I try to stay away from temptation. I still watch Cartoons but hate reality t.v. I'm a good friend, a kind lover, but the best listener. I've got Peter Pan philosophy and will never grow up. Love me or hate me I'll still stand tall. I live for me and have love for all.

Monday, March 17, 2008


Late yesterday as I was putting new clothes into my closet from yet again, a shopping spree that not many in my family knew about, I realized something a little shocking. I shop alot. ALOT! This realization occurred because I couldn't find space to put my new clothes so I thought that I might reorganize and clean up a bit. You wouldn't believe how many things I have in my closet that still have tags on them. It wasn't the amount of clothes that made me worried (no of course not, I am a girl after all) it was the ones that I haven't worn. As though I had bought them to forget about them. Is this a problem? A shopping addiction. Yeah. I feel great when buying but.....c'mon. And I always have this notion in my head while I'm shopping that I should get this shirt, or these shoes because I don't have any and they'll come in handy when 'low and behold' I have them buried deep in the"tunnel of lost dreams" (My closet). This revelation has made take a huge step back and examine my life so far:
  1. I have been under ALOT of stress
  2. I am currently not going to school and feel a little lost and useless in life
  3. I'm still feeling the sting after a semi-serious relationship (which was mostly about fooling around)
  4. Shopping makes me think about the things at hand

I think it was #4 that got to me. The fact that the things that have been happening to me in my life are uncontrollable and cruel(lawyers, family members being physically abused, mother crying every other day, and me being jobless) I liked the idea that if this didn't fit, get another size or if that color didn't suit me find another. OH! and the variety of stores with the nicest sales associates ever (seriously). But now that I have realized this what to do now? Stop shopping. No I think what I'll do first is actually start wearing those clothes, and stop spending so much. (Where the money comes from? Don't concern yourself with such trivial aspects of life o.O) Life is what it is. It isn't meant to be perfect or nice. It is meant to be what it is. Life! So I pledge now to become better and stop my crazy spending ways. To concentrate on school(I signed up again; mental pat on the back) Help my family out, stop falling for useless boys and just become healthy; physically and mentally. 

Besides all this boring talk, here is something I know I need (and kinda just want)

Oh yes, an Apple Macbook Pro. Plus Mac has this thing where they lower the price if your a student. Oh this looks like money well spent. The house computer is used by EVERYONE and always has a problem. This will definitely get me where I need to go in school. 

So ends my craziness (hopefully) Wish me luck!

No comments: